Fateful Day

If only, on that fateful day,
my Draft Board had been on LSD.
They might have sent me to Wonderland
to explain croquet and the proper pouring of tea;
they might have sent me to OZ
to get into Dorothy's pants or train flying monkeys;
they might have sent me to Hogwarts
to get an advanced degree in something useful;
they might have sent me to Narnia
in search of beaver pelts and talking mice;
they might have sent me to Neverland
to provide anger counselling to Captain Hook;
but no, instead, imagination failed utterly
and those three patriot imbeciles sent me to Vietnam.
If only, on that fateful day,
my Draft Board had been on LSD.